Guests? What guests?

I often get enquiries from couples who are almost apologetic about having a small ceremony with hardly any guests, perhaps just family and a few close friends.

You might be surprised to hear that this is very common. Not everyone has a large family, or a wide circle of friends.

Some couples may want to restrict the numbers during the day so as to reduce costs.

The main point is, it's your day and your ceremony, so do what you want!

When I was contacted by Ian last year, he was very clear about his plans.

"No guests Andy, just me and Amanda (the bride), and you of course!". "No fuss, no drama, just a simple ceremony and the job's a good 'un". Yes, Ian lives in Yorkshire 😊.

Now, I've conducted ceremonies with very few guest, but not one without any guests at all.

We then had a discussion that the law in Scotland also requires two witnesses to be present, but once Ian knew that any two people over the age of 16 can be a witness to a ceremony in Scotland, he was confident he'd be able to grab two strangers from the bar in the hotel!

In fact, it would only add to the romance of the occasion. I ended up bringing the witnesses with me, but that's another story....

 So, on to the big day itself.

Ian and Amanda had settled in the day before in one of the boathouses at Dundas Castle (https://dundascastle.co.uk/). By the way, I don't get paid for any of these venue shout-outs.

In keeping with the unplugged nature of the ceremony, the five of us went out onto the veranda overlooking the water.

The ceremony was just wonderful; it felt so different talking TO the couple rather than to their guests and I really enjoyed it.

As you can see from the pics, Ian and Amanda share a great sense of humour. They pretty much laughed their heads off all they way through!

The Happy Couple!

So if you're thinking of a very simply ceremony, just the two of you and your witnesses, then let's be honest, what's stopping you? 

A Humanist Ceremony can be conducted anywhere safe and dignified, so you have enormous scope in terms of venues and locations. 

You can also have a party for everyone else later on!

Everything you wanted to know about a Humanist Wedding but didn't know who to ask.

Humanist Weddings in Scotland

A Humanist Wedding Ceremony gives you the freedom to really put your stamp on one of the most important days in your life. 

The nature of the ceremony is dependent entirely on what you feel comfortable including. It can be short and simple, or it can be more expansive. It can be formal or informal, or a mixture of both; for example the light-hearted telling of the story of how you both came to be standing there on the day, contrasting with the solemnity of the vows.

What will be apparent no matter what, is your love for each other; the affection and friendship that you share and the deep and the binding commitment that you are making to each other, in the company of those you love the most; your family and close friends.

The Caledonian Humanist Association has a number of fantastic Celebrants who will make your day one to remember. 

We can be found at: http://cha.scot/ 

If you are considering asking me to conduct your ceremony, you may find it useful to have an appreciation of how I would work with you from first contact right up until the big day itself.

The first stage is contacting me to confirm availability, having a chat on the telephone then, if you are happy to proceed, confirming your booking.

Once we have done that, I would send you some ideas for the content of the ceremony, in order that you can begin the process of personalising the ceremony to your requirements. Some people have the idea that you need to write your own ceremony; that's not the case, but you do help to create the personal bits.

The Legal Bit

All couples who are intending to marry in Scotland (Humanist, Christian, Registrar etc.) must submit Marriage Notice Forms (M10 Forms) to the Registrar's Office at the local council that covers the venue. 

The forms can be obtained from National Records of Scotland by clicking the link below.

https://www.nrscotland.gov.uk/registration/getting-married-in-scotland/how-do-i-go-about-it

You can't submit the forms until you're within three months of the ceremony; the deadline for submission is 29 days before the ceremony. 

When you have had the opportunity to decide on the content (some brides to be even include their partner in this stage!), even if it is only rough ideas, we can then meet up and discuss how the ceremony will unfold. This would normally be 2 to 3 months before the date (this timescale can be adapted to suit the circumstances).

Approximately 2 to 3 weeks before the big day, I would send you a draft ceremony and you can advise of any changes. Once we have the final draft, all you then need to do is:

1. Turn up on the day.
2. Enjoy the occasion.
3. Live happily ever after!

Who ordered the Rainbow?

I'll begin this next blog with the TL:DR version!

Caroline and Ranald on the beach with me nearr Harvest Moon Holidays in East Lothian. I can organise the rainbow if you want one, but I'll need some notice ...

I decided to dip into my photo archives, and this one jumped out at me.

This ceremony took place in September 2017. When Caroline and Ranald first contacted me and told me they had their heart set on an outdoors ceremony (and no wonder, the beach was gorgeous) I did enquire as to their "Plan B". It goes without saying that you don't organise anything outdoors in Scotland, especially a wedding without a Plan B that kicks in if - or more likely when - it rains.

I was assured that there was indeed a Plan B. It wasn't until I arrived that I discovered that the Plan B was about half a mile from where the ceremony was taking place, as these next pictures show.

Plan B in the distance aka the Marquee.

To get from the Marquee to the beach, you have to head over the hill....

Across the dunes....

Something in the distance...

Turn left at the lone piper...

If ye walk into the river, ye've gone too far....

On a clear day, you can see the nuclear power station. Useful for getting your bearings from a fixed landmark right enough.

Finally! Plan A.

Not much shelter, as we will soon see...

But now we can begin the ceremony.

And of course, Caroline has barely arrived when it starts to rain. 

Turns out the real Plan B was a large number of assorted umbrellas - which actually someone forgot to bring over and the fittest Ushers had to bolt back to the accommodation just as it began to rain. Nice work guys!

Unfortunately, there weren't enough umbrellas for everyone. This is the closest that a Humanist Celebrant comes to martyrdom. In any case, my motto is "The Show Must Go On". 

I'm also looking remarkably sanguine, given my suit is brand new (can't resist a wee plug for Slaters Menswear in Glasgow for all of your ceremony wear needs. Hope you're reading this Ralph).

Drying out surprisingly quickly after the event!

Many of the guests had made the journey north from Englandshire, where sadly Humanist Ceremonies aren't yet legal so they hadn't experienced one before.

It has to be said, this was a fantastic introduction to the genre.

I was even asked by one of Ranald's friends and his wife to be if I would conduct their ceremony, that they were planning to have in Cornwall!

Finally, I'd like to extend a massive thanks to Andrew Ridgway, (http://ridgway.photography/) the photographer who not only captured the stunning rainbow shot, but very kindly sent these pics on for me to use.